This past nine days has been great with my mom around, but I find myself not wanting to get school done and this is not a good thing. I am burned out and have stopped really caring which is reflected in my attendance in the three classes that I am in. One teacher is calling me on it and this worries me I just hope that I am able to pass the class and be done with it. Musicianship is just not a class that I do well in and I can't seem to figure out how to pull my ear training out of the darkness and into the light and this scares me as I don't want to come back to take it in the winter!
I am trying to stay positive, but feel as though I am slipping and that is why I am going to go to the temple today and reset/recharge myself. There is a power in the temple that calms me that I have not really found anywhere else and through experience with not attending regularly and attending regularly I know that I need to always live close to one, so that I can stay spiritually happy. I went last week, but my charge is getting weak, so I am going to go again! I am also going to get on a schedule! I am not doing well with the crazy hours that I am keeping and the face that I am now employed will relieve a burden that was weighing quite heavily upon me. I am going to miss my mom and all, but I am glad that I am back to being on my own and that I will soon have an income and not have to rely on her as much as I have been this past few months! I can't say that money won't be tight, but I am going to make it if I have to cry and bleed to do it!
My big stress right now is how I am supposed to pay my rental car off and now come up with the funds for my car that decided that it needed to have engine problems this week! My mom is helping me out a little bit, but I am going to pay her back and hope that it is not going to be way expensive for me to pay off as I am not going to let my mom do that! I know she wants to help, but at nearly 27 she can't support me as much as she has been financially, I am an adult and need to start acting like it again! I have faith and hope that it will all work out the way that it is supposed to and that I will one day look back at this day and laugh at all that I thought was so hard and I am sure wish that I could come back to this time when things were so much easier!
This past week I made a commitment that I was no longer going to break the speed limit as do my best to stay right at what it says! I know that this might sound a bit trivial, but the Doctrine and Covenants tells us that if we are disciples of the Lord that we have no need to break the laws of the land and that struck me that if I can't obey the speed limit that I am not living my covenants and that is not going to get me where I want to be! I am doing well and have found that by going the speed limit I get to places in what seems to be a shorter time than if I go faster. Go figure! I know this might not make sense, but give it a try and see what it is that I am saying!! The Lord blesses those that are obedient to his commandments and this is what following the speed limit has taught me in a way that I haven't learned in a long while!
Well, I need to go, but I will write more at some point in time this week!
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