Lessons Learned!!

  The past few weeks have been riveting to say the least. I totaled my car, got started in a job, got my first paycheck and am in the hunt for a bike. I am learning that I am able to handle  lot more than I thought I could. I think that not having a car is going to help me to get back into shape. There are other lessons that I have to learn and that I  am learning and this time really trying to learn. The more I open my eyes and look at the world around me the more I realize how closed my eyes have been. The more I realize this the more I recognize that I have hurt so many people that have tried to help or that I have pushed away, so that I can hide my true self and especially the issues that I have. I am trying to change that one person at a time and make up my selfishness in the most simple of ways. I have a long ways to go and many people to as forgiveness from. One day restitution will be made and I can feel as though I have done all that I can to make things better between me and them.
  The Lord sure does know me and what I need to grow and overcome my biggest hurdle, myself. This being said I am trying to get over myself and then go from there. There is something liberating about come to terms with my weaknesses and open up to the ways that I need to change and how I need to do it. I can't say that it is going to be easy, but I know that it will be worth it. I have so many things that I need to get through, that it is going to be something of a miracle in my life when all is said and done. I can see that the Lord is answering my prayers and that lets me know that He is aware of me and answers the prayers that I don't always voice. This past year or so has been one of the most amazing journeys that I have ever been on and I know that the next year is bound to be one miracle after another! Here's to that!
 With each passing hour comes the knowledge that life is livable and that I can make it. I am going to be happy even when things look like they are going all wrong. Happiness is far more worth it than living in the dark abyss that I have been in for most of my life. True happiness comes from within and I am the one that controls that not the circumstances around me!! Here is to the learning that keeps coming my way and the blessings that I have yet to recognize!!

Its never to Late to Slow Down and Smell the Roses!

The past few weeks have been interesting to say the least!! I started volunteering at the Bishop's store house and love it!! It is nice to be able to get out and serve! I would have been there more this past week, but I got into a car accident and have been without a car, which makes it hard to do much of anything. I also started my new job and although training is tedious and will take me pretty much two more months I feel like I am where I need to be for the moment. I am going to go back and get an associates in Business Management in hopes that I can stay in the apartment complex that I am in right now, and also because I think that I am more business minded than I thought. So many things happen in my life each and every day, but I am learning and with each lesson I grow more firm in my faith and more grounded in my testimony.
There is something to helping others and being reminded that there are people that are way worse off than I ever thought of being. Helping them has opened my eyes to what it must be like to never have enough to take care of those that you love or even just yourself. It is humbling to have to ask for help and it isn't easy to go and say that I can't take care of this, but when you do you get to see the Lord in action through His chosen leaders and other children. I must say that He is so very mindful of what we need and knows that He can reach us if we ask Him to. I struggle with this and now that I am getting some help I am realizing that there is no shame in asking when you are doing all that you can to make ends meet and it just isn't working out the way that you planned. Time to swallow the pride and realize that none of us can do it alone, we all need help in one way or another. That is just the way that it is... even rich people have their problems that they need help with. No one in this mortal life is exempt from needing to ask for help.
The accident was not so fun, but upon reflection of why it might have happened (other than me running a red, due to I don't even really know what) and what I can learn from it and how to apply those lessons in my life I have come to a rather startling discovery for myself.... I need to slow down!!! I was overlooking the blessings that the Lord was giving me and not allowing myself the time to reflect and think of the ways that I am being blessed. If I don't take the time to stop and smell the roses so to speak then I am not able to seek and find the answers that I am asking for. I need these answers if I want to progress in this life. There is no way that I can get to the Celestial Kingdom if I am rushing around neglecting the answers that I am being given. If I want to get married and have solid and amazing friendships then I had better start applying the answers that I have been given and will be given, so that I am what the Lord needs me to be. I can't be what I want to be and I for sure can't help people with seeking the answers that they need to keep progressing with me. I thought the accident that I got in last April was my wake up call, but I guess I needed two more to really get it. Now that I hope I have it I can move forward and make sure that I am taking the time needed to get my answers and get myself fully on the path back to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ!!
I have so many relationships that I need to repair and I hope that you can all bare with me and let me get to you as I am able. I want to fix it all right now, but I know that I can't been there and tried that... it just kills me to be pulled in that many directions. I am going to fix them each one by one until those that are left in my life know where we stand and know what our friendship means to me. I value my friendships and relationships so dearly and so deeply that I hurt losing any that take the time to help me in any way. I am weak and I know this but I also know that with great people surrounding me I become strong and so do all those that are part of the great fabric of our lives... we are as weak as our weakest link and when you take the time to strengthen that then we can all become stronger and more unified together.