Let the True Healing Begin!

  I have finally come to terms that I have many issues and that now is the time that it is time to get through this and find the peach that I am in need of. I have actually come up with a plan to really allow for the healing to become  completely healed and able to move to a stage to be who it is that I need to be. I want more than anything to be a reliable and stable friend that can be there no matter what. I have thought this out and think that until I reach my main goal of stability which means that I need to have the relationship I dream of with my Heavenly Father and leave it in at His feet in the name of the Savior. This is the only way that I can truly and fully find the balance that is needed to have lasting and stable relationships with those that are a part of my life. This is going to be a very long process and I am going to need encouragement and prayers to get to that place and I know that there are going to be hard times. Please stay with me as I am getting a new heart and a new me. 

   Here is the plan that I have come up with: 

The one thing that keeps coming to my mind with coming to terms with all the anxiety that I hold within is to tell it all to Heavenly Father. If I can get this relationship where it needs to be then I know that I can find the balance that I need so badly. 

Here is what I feel that I need to do in this:

   1.) Take the emails, letters, and every other things that posses the hurt that is with in and take it to Heavenly Father and lay it at the feet of the Savior. These two relationships need to be the strongest in order for me to get through the darkness of my past and the only way that I can fix the relationships that I hold dear here on the earth. 

   2.) Once I take this baggage to the Lord I need to make an assessment of my life and repent of all the things that I have done that need to be corrected and erased. 

          a.) this means that I am going to have to make restitution to all that I have hurt or do my best to do such. 

          b.) this also means that I get to be honest to myself more completely and take the blame where it is my fault 

          c.) I also get to align myself more fully with the will of the Lord and become one with Him

  3.) After I repent and make restitution I need to set more realistic goals and do all that I can to achieve them one step at a time

  4.) I need to realize that this isn't going to happen overnight and might mean that I stay in counseling longer than I might want to and make sure that I have the tools needed to stay grounded and balanced and get through all that has happened to me! 

   I am sure that I am going to stumble. I am going to do all that I can to make a difference in my life and get all the potential i have to give and fulfill. Now I just have to have hope when it doesn't seem that there is anything that is going my way!! This is a new year and time for a new me!!