The First Night of the Rest of my Life!!

 Tonight I finally made myself talk with the Lord in a way that I have never really talked with Him before. I can't say that it was easy or that I really said all that mush, but it is a step that I have needed to take for a very long time and it is a huge step forward. I know that I have a lot longer to go in this journey of ultimate healing and my quest for inner peace and balance. I just know that I am going to need all the help and support that I can get from those that are in my life at the moment. I learned that I can't try to do this on my own and that the Lord doesn't put people in your life just so you can drift apart when there is so much more that you can learn from one another.
  I have come to the realization that I all too often don't allow others to help me the way that the Lord fully intended me to and that that is limiting me in my ability to overcome my insecurities and allow others to develop their skills and talents that the Lord has given them. If I don't let others help then I am in a way telling the Lord that He isn't giving me enough and that what He is giving me isn't what I need.
   I also realized that I was never really practicing what I preached when it came to the Atonement and that means that the lessons weren't as the Lord would have liked them to be. I can't possibly hope to lift another and help them more fully live the gospel when I am not doing the same in my life. There is so many things that I need to learn and hope to learn with the help of you out there that are reading this. I am nothing without the Lord and as for any strength others might perceive me to have it is given me of the Lord and to be truly honest I am not as strong as most think that I am. I am just a lost and scared woman that is trying to find her way back home and at the moment is a little confused as to how she ended up where she is.
  I have many things that cannot be expressed in words, but I know that I am going to a plain on this plan that is The Plan of Happiness that I have never ever been before and although it is going to hurt and I am a bit scared it is going to be worth it. I am going to find ways to find joy in me journey and hope that I can along the way help to life those of God's children placed in my path to do the same!! The gospel is an amazing gift and it is about time that I finally received it fully!!