Today I was rather pessimistic and negative in the afternoon. This was brought on by the feeling that I am never going to find a job, because the "not hiring" signs are already being put up here in Rexburg, and the job crunch begins. I am still hoping that I can find something, but if I don't then I will use the time to make sure that I do well in all of my classes and also use the time to truly reflect and make the things in my life that are not right right. I really do need a job, but I will allow the Lord to lead me where I need to go.
I feel blessed that I got to chat with a dear friend and a cousin and also got to help a friend who is having a rough go of things right now. I feel like the Lord is using me and I feel grateful as I have not felt this way in a very long time. I can't believe that I was so long with out this feeling, I never wand to forget what this feels like! I am feeling more loving and compassionate towards those around me, and have come to realize that I might be a more touchy person than I thought I was before. Thanks Mia you opened my eyes to that need for human contact and now I have no one here to help me with a hug!! I will survive and I am sure that I can manage to get a hug from someone!! I am really blessed and I didn't realize how much until I took time to look back and see that the Lord has always been here for me and placed people in my life that help me grow and also show me his love.
The more I look back on this past year the more I realize that I really had fallen from the great place that I was in before. I am grateful for friends that know what it is I need to hear and aren't afraid to tell me that I need to make some changes. Even if they don't say it using those words! There are so many things that I can now see that I am getting back to where I was when I first joined the Church and I am excited to be excited and invigorated about the only thing that I have truly fully and completely loved and that is the gospel!! The more I see the Lord's hand in my life and the lives of those around me the more I realize that he really does know each of us individually and that he loves us so much that he sends certain people into our lives that impact them in a way as to show us that he is there, we but only need to let him in. Thank You all of my wonderful and beautiful friends for showing me that I needed to change and loving me enough to say something so that I might make these changes!!
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